shannon and I went to bed around 11 after a fairly uneventful day (she slaved on remodeling the house, I ate lots of food) .. 6 hours later her alarm goes off and wakes me up (5.30am). I ignore it for a minute and finally turn over to kick her, she's not there so I assume she woke up earlier so I turned off her alarm. I quickly go back to sleep and a couple hours later wake up and head to my office to start working.

At about 9.30 I take a break from work and open the shutters in the bedroom .. noticing both of our cars are still in the driveway. This is odd since shannon has to be at work at 8.00. I head downstairs and it is pitch black, no lights on, no pets taken care of, nothing but silence. oddness. I quickly walk through every room in the house including the basement and no shannon.

Now it's moved from 'oddness' to thinking either shannon has left me or has been kidnapped. Im a pretty solid guy (come on, just go with it) so I settle on kidnapped. I start to frantically look for her .. i looked all over, I looked in the freezer (that's where I would put someone). I find her coat, keys, wallet, cell phone .. everything. no shannon.

I think about calling the police when shannon's cell phone goes off .. I see it's someone from her work and I answer it ... the call went something like this

Me: "Michelle hi this is brian"
Michelle: "um hi this is Michelle, oh .. i guess you already know that is Shannon home?"
Me: "No, Shannon is not home is Shannon at work?"
Michelle: "um, no"
Me: "well, Shannon is lost, i can't find her, her alarm went off at 5.30, all our pets are still hungry, she's not here, it's dark"
Michelle: "um, well, um, maybe she went for a walk"
Me: "No, she never walks in the morning and she never does anything before feeding her pets"
Michelle: "well, um, well, maybe today she just wanted to go for a nice walk in the nice fog"
Me: "No, shannon hates the fog and hates walking, it's dark here, noone is here, shannon is not here, not walking, she's missing"
Michelle: "um, it'll be ok, she's probably running an errand"
Me: "no errands, listen i have to go"
Michelle "um, ok, it'll be ok, bye"
Me: "bye"

Shannon will often spit on cars that are parked in our driveway, sometimes writing nasty notes, sometimes flipping off people while driving .. making tons of enemies ... so, it's entirely possible in my mind that she's been clunked on the head and dragged away while i was sleeping. I go upstairs to call the cops and as i pick up the phone someone lumbers up the stairs in a slow deliberate pace .. i grab a hammer and walk out to see shannon in her brown fuzzy robe walking up the stairs .. i scream bloody murder first, you know .. before i realized it was shannon. then i yelled at her "where the heck have you been?!?"

anyway - turns out she got out of bed at 2AM and was sick all night, slept on the brown fuzzy coach downstairs so she wouldn't disturb me. well .. her brown fuzzy rob is the exact EXACT same material/color as our brown fuzzy couch .. and .. she blended in so much that i just saw the couch when i searched that room.

I told shannon she better call Michelle